It Takes Two to Tango

I think setting personal goals is extremely important, but you don’t need to achieve them alone. Having a support system in your life is what gets you through the good times and the bad but yet we hardly ever take advantage of these relationships until we hit rock bottom (i.e a death in the family, an illness, a breakup, etc.). Everyone has a good friend, family member or significant other that would do anything to help you achieve your personal goals and yet you haven’t reached out. Whether your goal is to loose weight, eat healthier, or get more exercise, it will be so much easier if you have someone to talk to about it, to hold you accountable when you start to slack, and someone to lean on when you start to doubt yourself. It is not as easy at it sounds though so here are my tips moving forward:

Pick your person carefully. Humans are a strange breed, especially women. You might think that is an odd statement, especially coming from a woman, but I believe we are biologically wired to be jealous. Maybe it is some defense mechanism built in us to secure procreation, I don’t know, all I know is it happens, a lot. You may have a great friend who cares about you dearly but would selfishly (and in some cases subconsciously) sabotage you because you have something she wants but can’t (or thinks she can’t) have.

Don’t go for the obvious. You might consider your best friend, your husband/boyfriend or your mom as the obvious choice but sometimes this is not the case. You spend all of your time with them, you trust them more than anyone and you know they want the best for you, so why not them? When the going gets tough (and it will) this person may care about you too much to give you the “tough-love” treatment you need to keep going. When this person sees you struggle all they want to do is make it better for you, as soon as possible and that means in some cases, allowing you to give up.

Who has the same goal as I do? Who wants it as bad as I do? This might be a bit of a no-brainer but choosing someone to help you clean up your diet that couldn’t care less about nutrition probably isn’t the best choice. Don’t make it obvious that you are shopping around but strike up your goals in conversation with potential candidates. Watch their reaction when you tell them what you are trying to achieve. If nobody seems to be fitting the part don’t be afraid to use online resources. There are millions of websites out there where you can find people that have the same goals as you do. Find a buddy to share your workout routines, recipes, roadblocks and accomplishments. You may never meet this person face-to-face but they could be the key to your success.

It goes both ways. Once you have determined who would be the right person for the job make sure you can give them what they need too. When reaching out to this person, don’t tell them right off the bat what you need from them. Offer things you can do together that will create support for both of you, highlighting the things they want to hear. You have already determined this is what you want, they haven’t, you need to sell them on deciding that today is the day to change the rest of you life and you want to do it together.

Do you workout harder or more often alone or with a friend? Do you think reaching your goals would be easier with a buddy or are you more of an independent person?

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4 responses to “It Takes Two to Tango

  1. It depends on who I’m with. Some of my friends want to work hard, and we do awesome, but some just want to talk. I actually prefer to workout by myself, but when I run, I prefer to be with someone else.

  2. It’s so interesting that you posted this because I was invited to attend a 6-week long healthy living seminar that began last night. They had us set goals, then told us we had to find an accountability partner to keep us on track with them during the duration of the 6 weeks. It was really interesting to run through all the people in my life in my head and say “Ok, who would tell me like it is no matter what?” It was surprisingly difficult and I still have yet to decide who I will choose. I think sometimes having a buddy can hinder your progress because if they quit or reach their limit, it makes you more likely to quit even if you maybe could’ve pushed further. For this reason, when it comes to working out, I definitely work harder by myself because I’m not worried about anybody else or on anyone’s agenda but my own.

  3. I prefer to work out by myself…I go to the gym on a mission! haha…most of my friends just chat and/or want to have me train them-which is great, when i’m not trying to work out myself!

  4. I am more independent so I like working out alone. However, sometimes it would be better if my husband had the same nutrition or fitness goals as me, But opposites attract I guess!

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